Chingay 2012.
First time since the year 2000 when I participated in Chingay. It has been almost 12 years.
When I first heard of this, I didn’t want to participate. I was in my comfort zone (SNCO) for so many years, and the first rule that we all know is that if we are in an Arts & Culture group, we cannot join NDP, Chingay etc unless we have approval from our chiefs.
Then I was reminded that next year’s the year of the Dragon! How cool would it be if I could join Chingay again after 12 years! That got me excited.
So I went to ask Meow Ling about it, and Kenneth and they both allowed me to join. I had to even agree to go for SNCO practice.
But all these were for naught.
Before I get there, I must share that I was really hyped up for it, and excited, coz I get to spend time with my SD friends and also I told Audrey (who brought along Bi Neng) and Pin Wen about it. It’s a great way to be able to stay in touch with all my friends in Gakkai, contribute more, and have fun!
I talked to Jie Shi about it, and helped with the applications, kept haunting many people about whether we got in or not. Long long story, but up until yesterday, then I found out that for us A&C people, they just took out our names.
I am okay about it, since I had 心理准备. Hur hur. But what about my friends?
Thankfully, Pinwen and Bi Neng received smses for trainings, and their names were included. I do hope Audrey will be considered in too.
Quite funny how yesterday, all the SD chiefs, vice-chiefs, who saw me, knows me and that I am in SNCO -.- Wanna escape also cannot.
I’m feeling kinda left out now. But yesterday Sikang told me that they’re coming up with something for us in the reserved list to contribute. And he told me it’s media related and he would sign me up as a photographer. 🙂 I don’t know if it’s just to make me feel better, but I’ve worked with Sikang before (June Proj 2011) and I know he’s not someone like that. Okay maybe to feel better, but not to just come up with something and just say it for fun.
It is always not me if I would just give up without a fight. I wanted to join. I wanted my friends to be in as well (of course they must want it too). But as of yesterday, after Jieshi told me about the chiefs decision. I felt that well, I have my answer. I am tired of fighting.
It wasn’t giving up, because it wasn’t like I didn’t fight. I told myself once that if I didn’t get in, what is important is that my friends don’t quit because of me not being in.
Oh and btw, I chanted for an answer, and here I got it. 🙂 I am meant to do other things, and contribute in other ways, so I will.
Peace out!
(I am not pissed. Just wanna type out my thoughts!)