Thoughts | Maestoso Amore | Music | Life

Genuine vs fake.

9 September, 2011 No Comments

Was listening to the song that I listen to a lot recently (see previous post), and I suddenly thought of something.

I hang out with various people throughout these few years in my life, and I somehow can feel when someone is treating me nice genuinely or when they treat me nice because I am their friend. Trust me, all these makes a difference.

I used to have a crush on this guy in secondary school for years (refer to one of the older posts), and I knew that he treated me nice because he’s my friend. Even in recent years when we met up, I could feel that it was the sake of meeting up and not anything more. I wondered why I had a crush on him then. It’s like, nothing would totally have come out of it.

And then in recent years, I met new people who are truly genuinely happy to see me and chat with me, not for the sake of anything. They tell me to be careful because they are truly worried about me. They advise me not to look back because they can feel my pain. They send me pictures because they want to share their happiness with me.

You may think that I may be kidding myself with all these stuff and that these people don’t exist anymore. But they do, I have a really good sixth sense and instinct. Sometimes I may just ignore them but I can feel it. And today as I received another picture from a friend (if you follow me on twitter you’ll know what it is), I realised who these group of people are. I’m not saying that these people don’t exist outside these camp of people, maybe I just haven’t met them yet, but I’m just saying that majority come from these group.

They are people I know from Gakkai. 🙂

Family, Interesting, Thoughts

June 2010 Projects: Cousins meetup (outside Grandma’s house)

9 July, 2010 No Comments

Sooo… a few months ago, a few of us cousins discussed and decided that we should have a cousins gathering/outing outside of Grandma’s house. The main reason being, we usually meetup only at grandma’s and we don’t really communicate much. I actually have a dream that the 20+ of us could come to one outing and take a group picture. It would really mean a lot to have that photo somewhere. Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be one at the moment. 🙁

This holidays, I was supposed to visit Janning at KL, but the plan was cancelled in the end, and about a month ago, Janning emailed me to tell me that she’s coming to SG! 😀 What a surprise! So we discussed for a few nights on MSN where I could bring her to (for half a day) and she suggested we could have a mini cousins gathering. I mass FB-messaged my cousins, but not many replied unfortunately. 🙁 We just gathered a few then, and after that set a day and place to meet.

Anyway, I got sick a few days before Janning came, but managed to recover on time. 🙂

On the 19th June, Uncle Alex drove Janning over to my house to pick me up and we headed to Khatib. As Janning was hungry, we went to a coffee shop at Khatib and Janning had her lunch while I had tea.

Sooo… Here are a few of the pics I took at Bottle Tree Park (which was our first stop for the day).

There was some fishing competition and this guy caught that fish. Pretty big, but they put it back after the photo.

Next stop was Marina Barrage! Okay we went to eat at this coffee shop next to Northpoint and surprisingly the bak chor mee was pretty good! Then we went to Marina Barrage.

We chatted along the way and I got to know Janning better. Haha. We’re both cousins but even though she’s from KL, I feel I’m also not that close with cousins from SG what say KL? I’m glad I got to talk to her and know her better. 🙂

It was dark when we arrived. I’d planned Marina Barrage as the “night event” because I felt that there would be more stuff there to see instead of Bottle Tree Park.

To be honest I didn’t know what I would see there, and wow! I didn’t realise that there would be soooo many people around as well as things happening!

Kite flying at night. Blur coz slow shutter speed and strong winds…

Basically, we walked around taking pictures of people and the view. It just so happened that there was NDP rehearsal and there were fireworks! But sad to say, I lack a tripod and the skills to take proper pictures of it.

UFO flying above Singapore Flyer??? 😛

Look at all the people!

Light from MBS.

Anyway, most of the shots were blurry because of the lack of tripod and slow shutter. Quite bad la. 🙁

But it compensated for the above pic. Look closely at the fountains 😀

Janning wanted to take the fountain with coloured lights but for some reason she kept missing the chance. So since we had time, we sat there and waited for it. I decided to experiment with bokeh shots. Haha. I’m quite amused by bokeh. Pretty interesting you know? So yea here are some of the shots.

Interesting how not to focus can give you nice art too. What I see when I don’t wear my specs basically. =x

At night.

We’d wanted to go to MBS but unfortunately I was too noob to know where to go. Lol I made us alight at the wrong stop (so paiseh) and the buses there weren’t that frequent so we had to go back or it would be too late.

Janning and I on the train! 😀

So that was the first meetup with her! Remember the cousins gathering thingy, it was to be on the 21 June.

We’d asked quite a few cousins, but unfortunately by the actual day itself, it was just Janning, Me, Danny and Wei Wen. Fortunately to be honest. 🙂 >1 person better than no one right?

Dinner was just Janning, Danny and I. Danny kept wanting to go to this place called “The Creation” at Shaw Centre (opposite Suntec that area) so we went!

I had pasta (can’t remember what) with chamomile tea and soup. Approximately $15. Not bad!

Wei Wen joined us after that and we took a group photo before heading to INK Club Bar.

Danny, Janning, Wei Wen and I. I know I’m the shortest

So we headed to INK! It’s a great place by the way. They had a guest trumpeter that day.

We had a drink each. Only Janning got an alcoholic drink. I was still under medication so didn’t dare. Next time perhaps! Love that place. Love the type of jazz music there. 🙂

We took another group pic together!

Benny was supposed to go on that day. But he had to OT till late (poor thing), and… he arranged for another meetup with Janning on the 22nd! 😀

I brought Huzz along coz he’s almost family (hee hee) and we were supposed to be watching a movie that day. He was okay that we weren’t going for the movie anyways 😀 Thanks bf!

I reached there quite late because I had to OT a bit as well as the fact that I got off the wrong stop. zzz Huzz and I went to look for Janning, then we headed to Xin Wang HK Cafe at Marina Square for dinner!

Had a good long chat (okay I was mostly observing) with Janning and Benny. Huzz was pretty entertained as well.

Group shots!

*Group pics and pics at INK are courtesy of Janning!! 😀

Well, it was a fufilling 3 days. I got to communicate with cousins Janning, Danny, Wei Wen and Benny. Learnt a lot about them that I didn’t know before. Basically the main reason was the age gap I feel and over the years, we just stopped talking much at Grandma’s and all. Pretty sad. But anyway, I am determined that one day, all of us cousins will be able to meetup like friends do outside of where we usually go to! In fact, I have this dream of having a photo of all of us 20+ cousins together. I will definitely print and frame it up if there comes such a day. I know that my cousins either like photography, or music or do something related to either one (e.g. singing, dancing, playing instrument, art, etc) and I belong to either one as well! I am very sure that we will all be good friends instead of only being related by blood.

Aiming for more of such outings! 😀

Songs, Thoughts

Songs of the decade.

30 December, 2009 No Comments

Was listening to Shan and Rozz today on radio and they were doing some “songs of the decade” special today. For some reason, almost all of the songs brought me back to those days when the songs were always aired on the radio.

I can’t really remember all of the songs, but here are those that I remembered:

Drops of Jupiter by Train
I remember listening to this song every Friday night at 987’s Top 20 Countdown and it was number 1 for quite a few weeks. For some reason, back then, the title of this song made me feel as though I have a blanket covering me on cold nights, and it was my lullaby for quite sometime. 🙂

Train came out with a new single recently, “Hey Soul Sister”. I thought it’s quite catchy but somehow still I like Drops of Jupiter better.

Complicated by Avril Lavigne
This was Avril Lavigne’s first single (it’s been so long). I liked her songs quite a lot and even bought her album after Sk8er Boi came out. I love the artwork of that album.

2002 was a year when I was still confused about school and everything. Confused about many things and got quite “emo” (that’s the only word that I can use to describe). Everyday after school would be to stay at home, do work and listen to my CDs.

The Reason by Hoobastank
I learnt the drums for this myself within a day. haha. Simple, yet just catches everyone’s attention. 🙂

You’re Beautiful by James Blunt
I have to admit, there was a point in time when I got very irritated at listening to this song. It was only until about 2 years of not listening to this song that I was okay to listening to it.

Oh ya, once, in China, I was with Huzz and I think Liying in a taxi when the radio played this song and they didn’t censor the word “F888888 high”. Interesting but no one really noticed it anyway.

Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake
Honestly, I don’t really have much recognition about this song until the beginning of this year. I guess it was because I went to Chengdu for 4 months, and lost touch with all the songs that were “in” during that period (I lived on Tank’s songs and a lot of oldies that the driver listened to every morning on our way to work. Imagine that!). The term “sexyback” was used very frequently and it was after a while before I learnt about this song. Lol

Alright, the end. 🙂

Food, Friends, Rants, Thoughts

Of Chengdu and my plate of thoughts.

13 June, 2009 No Comments

Seriously emotional blog entry. Avoid if you don’t want to hear me.

Went to Pierce Sec for POP rehearsal today. Was assigned the Glocks part. Made a new friend, Hui Xian from Pierce Alumni. =)

Had lunch with Shamin and Dickson.

Had another OPP Gathering today.

Was supposed to be a picnic to celebrate all our birthdays, but the plan failed becuase we (I said “we” because we were really too busy, I understand yea?) were all too busy and all.

*Okay, I know this sounds emo*

Henry couldn’t come because today was his commissioning.
HS had a navy exercise today.
Jia Hui had something on.
Madeline went overseas.
Li Ying was not feeling well.

So there were the 7 of us left. Huzz, Edmund, Vernon, Teck Hwee, Yi Long, Yan Qin and me.

While waiting for the movie to start, saw Kai Li.

Watched Monsters vs Aliens. Haha. Love the CG!!! It’s just awesome that so many scenes are so life like. 🙂 And there were some really funny scenes that are pretty lame (in a good way). 😀 Made me happy la.

Then we went to squeeze around at the PC Show, and I saw Vernon Loh. It’s like I turned my head right and there he was. Oh and also saw Kai Li and Hui Wen.

Went to Xin Wang Taiwan Cafe and the food variety was limited, but quite okay, though the service there was seriously bad.

Firstly, Huzz ordered a side dish that was never recorded, and after the waiter recorded it down, it never arrived. )(!@)&@*

Then, this waitress who came to collect our bill behaved in a super “I don’t want to work here” attitude. I wanted to ask her what her problem was when she asked if I wanted to use my card to deduct points. Hello?! If I don’t understand can’t you explain?

I know why my photos look like crap already. It’s the settings! Believe me, the pictures above without photoshop were seriously scary. I suddenly understood why my pictures didn’t need much photoshopping all of a sudden a few weeks back. Haha.

I had “Fermented Chicken Rice”. I thought what “fermented chicken”. It’s actually fermented beancurd with chicken! It’s pretty much what I like though 🙂

After all that, we headed for home. As we were walking along City Link, I saw cousin Alvin! Haha.
Vernon, Edmund and I travelled back on the NEL and Vernon was sharing with us our thoughts about that first dinner when he reached Chengdu, and we 3 talked about the things we did there. haha. 🙂 Pretty insightful.

I miss Chengdu.

Lastly,

*turns PMS mode on*

If you think you would rather compromise friendship by being bothered because we were being honest with you, because we are not fake, because we don’t pretend like others to say how nice your ____ is, then fine with me.

Btw, I only speak my mind ONLY after I feel that you won’t be childish like this.

Too bad for me.

I’m sorry but sometimes, I don’t think I want to take shit from people anymore. People who only want attention. This is so freaking childish and secondary school. You are not a secondary school kid anymore.

And for those who know me well enough to see me posting this here, I am seriously pissed and it’s not only because of PMS, but because I seriously had enough.

Being nice always makes me feel guilty. I’ve had enough.

*turns PMS mode off*

Thoughts

Cut.

5 February, 2009 3 Comments

Saw a girl self-mutilating her wrists at the stairwell a few blocks away on my way home.

I thought that trend was over?

I wanted to ask if she’s okay. But her penknife was super big. Those big kind. I am a coward for fear that she might throw it at me.

I’ve seen so many people I know who do that to get attention. Though i don’t really know what the proper psychologist’s explanation for it is.

It doesn’t shock me anymore as it did so many years ago.

Thoughts

Chengdu 2007 – one year later.

12 April, 2008 No Comments

Time has flew by so fast. Last year this time, I was sitting in an office in Chengdu. Now I’m sitting in an office in Singapore.

I am still amazed and encouraged by my attitude to try new things and venture into unknown depths last year. I really should do that.

Books, Thoughts

The Buddha, Geoff and Me – after thoughts of the book.

7 April, 2008 No Comments

Just finished The Buddha, Geoff and Me and I feel this immense sense of happiness and relief that I’ve finished the book and the concepts and philosophies that I have encountered before but never really thought much about it.

It’s like waking up in a way, to a new day and strengthening my faith again. =) It’s a really good book I’d say. I’m more prepared to face obstacles and challenges now. Coz though this book, I’ve realised that I’m actually quite a scaredy-cat that do not react well to things that I am unsure of.

When I’m unsure of other people’s reaction to my choice, I’ll choose not to make a choice and let them decide. (that’s why I’m indecisive)
When I’m unsure of what other people think of me, I’ll choose not to speak.
When I’m unsure of how the situation or place will be like, I’ll choose not to go.

But then now I realised that it’s all because of my freaking imagination that’s controlling me. I must say that since strengthening my faith back in 2004 and doing proper prayer and all, I’ve removed quite a lot of these scary imagination that had got hold of me but left with the above 3 fears. I’m determined to remove these nonsense and improve myself. Of course, it doesn’t mean that I am going to be selfish and not care about what others think, but I shall use wisdom, courage and compassion to make better decisions so that it will be a win-win situation for me and everyone else.

And I shall end today’s entry with this quote from the book that I really really like:

“We want to know how other people’s story turns out because we want to know how our story will turn out.”

SNCO, Thoughts

An evening of music

10 March, 2008 No Comments

Concert’s over.

I’m feeling physically tired now, partly because of the concert and partly because of the fact that I carried 2 laptops to work today!! 🙁 🙁

Memorable bits:

Percussion “mass dance” lol
Dr. Ho dancing.
Mr Wu’s baton flying away in the midst of our performance
The pre-performance chat with Kiwi.
The pre-performance slacking with Kat.
The during-rehearsal phone call from Uncle Jack!!
The during-rehearsal SMS from Chui Ling 🙂
My parents at the concert
Faith, Hui Yi, Liyin and etc coming
The fact that Huzaen was at the concert
Vanessa, Kenneth, Nikee, Shazwan, Eng Soon, Shao Xiong, Shirley, Shirley’s mum & Elling coming to the concert
Radetzky March encore lol

Though I was kinda disappointed with my performance. It wasn’t up to my standard. Especially the timpani parts. I promise I won’t disappear next time (whether for exams or whatnot) without sorting out the parts first. This was one mistake I made. To have only one month before the concert with new parts isn’t fun at all. But oh well, the concert’s over, no use thinking about it and feeling sad. What matters is learning from the mistakes we made. 🙂

Pictures from Audrey.

Percussion ladies!

Me and Audrey. (I like this pic!)

Percussionists (minus UK. We didn’t know where he was).
Audrey, Me, Kat and Kiwi.

Music theory exam this saturday. :S

Movies, Thoughts

3rd day in SG (after 4 months in Chengdu)

16 August, 2007 1 Comment

Watched Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix with Huzz today. 🙂

Overall, I felt the movie was over dramatised. They cut out a lot of stuff but I’m glad that many of my favourite quotes were in there. Like the one where Hermione described Ron as having “emotions the size of a teaspoon”. David Yates wasn’t bad in directing this film. It captured some stuff perfectly. However, 2.5 hours is kind of squeezy for Book 5 eh?

4 months and Plaza Singapura changed so much! Level B2 changed a lot. I got quite blur when I first stepped in. Lol.

And Carrefour. It feels weird when you walk in and don’t see a lot of people around waiting to introduce products to you or people shopping around. 4 months ago, I wasn’t sure what brand of drinks or cup noodles were sold in SG. Now, I know what brands are available in Chengdu. Weird comparison, but yeah.

Found a few brands of cup noodles that I’d ate in Chengdu in Carrefour here. And walnut flavour of Monmilk!!! 😀 😀 Haha! Bought one big packet of it. Used to drink it over in Chengdu. Hope it tastes the same since it’s imported from China. 🙂

Ahh. I miss the stuff that happened in Chengdu.

4 months in a year, you can’t forget it just like that.

Life, Thoughts

Back in Singapore! :D

14 August, 2007 6 Comments

I’m Back!!! 😀 😀 Anyone missed me? 😛

Alright. Couldn’t fall asleep yesterday until around 4am. Not used to my soft soft bed and the humid weather. Quite sad eh? Living in a foreign country for 4 months made me a different person who is used to different things. :-/

My parents said I’m fat and have lots of pimples. And my Dad asked why is my face pinkish like it was sunburnt? Lol.

125th Day – Drama continued. A bit disappointed, and quite tired after that.

The flight was delayed for 50 minutes, but still reached SG rather early around 9.41pm instead of the scheduled 9.10pm. Bought Martell Cordon Bleu for my dad. Quite not used to hearing to people speak Singlish or with a Singaporean accent. Lol.

I was quite used to Chengdu life as I found out in the airport toilet. After using tissue paper in the toilet, I was looking for a dustbin. LOL! In Chengdu, other that your own waste material, you are not able to flush other stuff down the toilet. Haha.

Glad to be home! 😀

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