OMG I know how this feels.
Anyway, been having lunch/dinner with friends these 2 weeks. Don’t know what I was worried about seriously. I wasted my holidays worrying about something that I don’t have control in when I could have been having more fun meeting up with friends, having lunch/dinner.
I think I’ve changed. I used to be someone who didn’t like a lot of things. It made me angry, and upset, because I didn’t like these things and I didn’t want to do them. What resulted was someone who was scared and lonely, and boring.
Finally taking some action to fulfil something that I’ve been talking about since 16. 🙂
Need more daimoku. 🙂
Also, i didn’t realise how hard it is to write my own testimonial (for sharing in Gakkai). I’ve been procrastinating it a lot, because it is very painful to recollect these thoughts and put them down into words. It’s like cutting my heart open again. I am not kidding. I really think many people who have shared are really brave. I want to be like them.