I realise that once in a while, I fall into that stupid trap that makes me get negative and negative and negative. I spent the most of last night thinking about what I should do and why I would fall into that trap. And it’s just very simple: I want more things and am not thankful of the things that I have.
I’d just came across a quote the other day which I guess serves as a warning to me that I didn’t heed.
After yesterday’s wake up call (which in order to keep the privacy of it and all, I would like to remind my future self to remember the pooh letters), I would say that fear is a really horrible strong feeling that creates unnecessary thoughts. I should constantly remind myself, Fear -> Hate -> Anger -> Pain and Suffering. I think I also need more daimoku.
I haven’t been sooo negative in a long time, which is honestly scary. >.< I really want to thank the person who gave me that wake up call. You know you are reading this. 🙂 Anyway, I think I should schedule this once a month in order to bring myself back to the positives. I may not list down everything, but at least as much as I can think of. Things that I am appreciative of today - My family: That we are all healthy and not broken - My extended relatives: That we are all still in positive contact and communicating - Eugene: That I have a boyfriend who fills the gap that I have in my life and being the other piece of me. For taking care of me constantly and being there all the time. (Where can you find another such awesome person? Nowhere.) And that he is healthy and patient, and so many things. - Midnight: For being in my family and accepting the fact that he is staying with humans. And for being there sometimes when I need a hug hehe - Faith: For being the pet that we can just look at and chat with when we need a listening ear (sounds emo but it's nottt) - SNCO: For being there every week and for giving me loads of opportunities when it comes to performing - SSA: For giving me the chance to know awesome people who can help me with my issues - My friends: For being there when I need them and when they need me. - My job: For giving me lots of chance to learn how to be more sociable instead of being in my shell. For being able to meet new people, and for being able to give me the allowance that I need. - Myself: For constantly trying to strive to become better, as much as I know that I am not perfect. For wanting to be healthy and better. For being alive and not suffering from any major health issues. Look forward, look forward. The past is the past. I have so many things to be happy about and I shouldn't be sad or scared. If things come, they come. There is nothing to fear 🙂