End of 2012

So last year I set myself some goals. So here they are, and whether I’ve done anything to achieve them:

  • Improve in percussion skills (work consistently)
  • Play cello well (and seriously) – >.<
  • Be a better person to my family and friends
  • Do more kosen-rufu
  • More exposure to live music – Done
  • live life fuller
  • Travel to 2 countries – Travelled to TW, Malaysia, HK, Bangkok, Japan
  • Stay healthier
  • Work on 1 major photography project
  • Have at least 20k in my bank accounts – Fail TTM
  • Be able to communicate better – Better!!
  • Hit my commission consistently at work – Failed this too

Not sure if I should make another list. Not today at least. But ta dah!

Continue Reading

If the world ends today.

So apparently, the time that the world will end is on 7.11pm today.

If it really happens, I would say that I have no regrets so far.

Sure, there are still a lot of things that I haven’t done, that I haven’t experienced, but for someone my age, I’ve done about 70% of the things that I wanted to, and that’s not bad I think.

As much as I choose not to believe it, I hope nothing will happen.

Continue Reading


I know I haven’t blogged about him yet, and I haven’t written anything here. But today, I am actually feeling pretty emotional (time of the month) so I want to write something.

There was a time when I thought that I had the best. That I was being well-loved by another person. But that time was over. And that thought was false.

And what they say is true. You never know what the best is until you have it.

I met Eugene on Aug 2 this year, through jamming with Pinwen and Sihan.
My life hasn’t been the same since. Within a stranger, I felt lots of connections with him. He made me feel comfortable. Rides home after jamming were never the same. In fact, I looked forward more than anything to spending some time with this person.

I was scared at that time though. Scared of falling into another hole and covering myself with sand and insanity. I didn’t like the me when I was in the past relationship and I didn’t want to hate myself again.

But then I thought, “hey, I had the past year to work on myself. I am a different person now.” And, if I was very sure of what I felt, should I give it up?

And I was tested.

My feelings were tested when I found out that I may not be number 1 in his life. That there may be someone else. I was angry at myself again, for thinking that perhaps I may have the chance. Oh, how I remember that night.

I was cautious after that. Scared of being hurt. Scared that I was wrong.

But then everything fell into place.

That Train song? “This Will Be My Year” ? Yup this is my year πŸ™‚

I learnt how a boyfriend should treat his girl properly (I actually discussed this with people, and how I was treated previously was NOT the right way), what being myself meant, what not being worried daily while in a relationship was about, what being a better person meant and how to trust another person again.

It has been almost 3 months, and some may think that it may be too soon for me to be sure. But hey, why not?

Love you Eugene Huang. πŸ™‚

Continue Reading

Absolute vs Relative Happiness

Wanted to remind myself about this in one way or another.

Attended study meeting yesterday, and the gosho was “Hero of the World”.

I loveeee how one topic can have different Buddhist principles incorporated inside, that makes me look at things and reminds myself about applying these principles in my life.

Anyway, one topic was “Absolute vs Relative happiness”.
It’s just something sooo simple, but yet we often forget about. We often forget that we should be happy or sad because of the things we do, but not others. Yes, they may upset us, they may affect us, but we shouldn’t base our happiness on what others do.

I’m not good at explaining, so I got these paragraphs from: http://www.sgi.org/sgi-president/writings-by-sgi-president-ikeda/on-practice.html

“When you get right down to it, does material wealth assure happiness? Does fame? Does living in a big house? The answer is an emphatic “no.” All the time we see people embroiled in bitter battles over money; people plunged into misery when onetime fame and popularity disappears; people ruining their own lives when they let fame and power go to their heads; and people living in large luxurious homes where family members cannot stand one another and a cold and hostile atmosphere pervades.

Such things as money, fame and material possessions offer a fleeting, transitory kind of satisfaction, something which can be called “relative happiness.” However, when we transform our lives internally, when we develop within ourselves a brilliant inner palace, then we can be said to have established “absolute happiness.” If we develop a state of mind as vast and resplendent as a magnificent palace, then nothing–no matter where we go or what we may encounter in life–can undermine or destroy our happiness.”

Continue Reading

The Day I Met You.

8 Sep: Writing this while being very inspired to write something worthy of Thought Catalog. I know it’s kinda impossible, as the standard there’s pretty high, but here are my thoughts that I would really liked to be kept somewhere in this blog.

21 Sep: Posting this up! πŸ˜€

The day I met you.

It was a pretty insignificant day. I didn’t even know you were going to be there and be part of my life then.

I remembered being slightly nervous throughout the day. As it would be the first of the few practices before the performance. This would have been the 2nd time I’m playing in a pop band.

I knew then, that I would be meeting a guitarist who I’d played with previously, and my friend who’d organised this practice. He is your friend too. That’s why you were there.

I couldn’t decide what to eat for dinner, and settled for some handmade noodles. The stall owner didn’t want to give me my order at first, and the cook helped me. The noodles were awesome however.

As I sat there wondering if I did enough preparation for that practice session.

As shared with you before, the moment you came up, I got a HUGE surprises as I didn’t know you were there. Second reason I’d explained with you before. πŸ™‚

Perhaps my impression of you then was very – how should I put it – that you were intimidating, and a good musician. I didn’t know you at all then, and everything was based on the videos of you that I’d seen, your performance with our mutual friend (your previous band), photos, and comments from others. Quite interesting how we already make an impression of someone even without meeting them.

I remembered being quite quite annoyed when I wasn’t being thought of as the drummer by you. Haha! In fact, a negative impression had been marred from it!

But after that moment, one where I was sabotaged by our friend, I think you’re pretty nice! And it turns out that you’re sick but you still came, and that you were quiet not because you’re being proud but because you’re tired.

Wait, back to that day. If we were to gauge on that actual day, I think perhaps my “first” impression of you was already originally formed, that day was pretty insignificant at all.

Never judge anything based on the beginning, but how it continues. πŸ™‚

Continue Reading

Music – my journey.

Was digging out some of the old stuff from my hard disk to send to a new friend of mine. Someone who I’d known recently and would say that I’m glad to know! πŸ™‚ Basically just trading music with him. So what happened is that I’ve been telling him about all the symphonic band stuff, and he told me to just send him a few to try. So that’s what I’m doing now, and so I decided to listen to them as well.

How much time flies! When I first stepped into band in 2003 (I joined only in sec 3). I used to listen to whatever that was on the radio, and I couldn’t accept many things at first, like rock, rap, and I can’t remember what else. They were either too noisy, or too boring. Used to listen to a lot of pop and alt rock (when I was 11 haha) but slowly started to accept different things, and different music.

Now that I’m stepping into Crayon Parade, these things are a whole new experience for me. To be honest, I can listen and accept new genre of music rather easily now, but still can’t tell the whole layering thing, or anything else. Still learning, and basically having fun. Hopefully someday I will be able to understand just like what I did for Symphonic band stuff. πŸ™‚

Continue Reading

Elves Lab Taiwan Trip 2012 (22-26 Feb)

I realised that I haven’t blogged about the Taiwan trip!! So here’s a short one!

I took quite a lot of pics, but edited to the 400+ left on my Facebook.

We were all quite lucky to be honest, because we had Ryan, a local, to bring us around. And he knew places that Singaporeans won’t usually visit when they go to TW, like ηŸ³ι—¨ζ°΄εΊ“, the top of this dead volcano, this hot spring place that locals know about, and showed us things that Taiwanese do, eat and drink at leisure. It was quite cool that his uncle knew a lot of people and we were able to go to some places at a discounted price.

Of course, we did visit the usual like Yeh Liu Geopark, XiMenDing, Shilin, Raohe, Taipei 101 and we saw Sakura!

The temperature there was pretty cold, ranging from 10-14 degrees and it rained everyday.

Oh and I saw a cute eye candy this trip (haha just like the last trip!)

Some pictures:

When we arrived.

Ryan, first time seeing him after a few months. Gosh I miss him now

Reminds me of HK tbh

Our awesome hotel

Day 1 view from room. The only day it didn’t rain.

Their temporary “ez-link” pass


Awesome 鲁肉ι₯­ braised meat rice

Their fried oyster omelette, exactly the same as the 8 Degrees Taiwan bistro in SG

Some pig’s parts… No one else dared to try it. 😑

White bitter gourd with mandarin pear juice – AWESOME. Not everyone liked it though.

BBT. We have this in SG?

Everyone, from taxi drivers, to hotel bellboys, in TW is just damn nice, except towards mainland Chinese from what i observed =/

Pig’s blood and smelly tofu soup. Brave enough to try it, and it’s just damn nice

Fishing. I felt that this was a bit too cruel so I refused to try.


At Yehliu. I love rocks and history.

The hotspring place where we had a free hotspring ticket after we had our meal. Had to be totally nude, but had our own private hot spring bath haha

Dead volcano, 小油坑, visibility was bad and all we saw at the top was fog πŸ™

花桷 where there was a farm.



Floating on ηŸ³ι—¨ζ°΄εΊ“! I feel so lucky to be able to do this.

ε†°η³–θ‘«θŠ¦ They look like little faces with sunglasses haha

View from the top

The cute guy πŸ™‚

Took train to the top to put these lanterns.

Awesome soya bean stuff here

The salty beancurd was surprisingly better than the sweet one.

Overrated. Food is just like normal foodcourt stuff

Beef curry

With Ryan

My loot

That’s all! I guess I will go back to TW someday, but I kinda like HK better =/ Maybe it’s due to my roots. Both have their own pros and cons.

Continue Reading

Angry me.

Haven’t blogged in ages!

Since the last entry, work has been taking up my life, focusing a lot of my work and finally there’s some achievement.

Today is payday, and I didn’t hit commission again. But whatever, I think my boss knows about my attitude towards work. I work hard, I work my best. Yes I aim for the target, but if I don’t hit it, I aim again next month. I prepare for the goals next month if I don’t hit it this month.

Anyway, I remembered there’s this Chinese teacher I had who used to always say, “εΏθ€δΉŸζ˜―ζœ‰ι™εΊ¦ηš„.” The class used to laugh about this. But I really understood then what she meant, and I still understand it now.

Sometimes, I just don’t get it why my sister and everyone is like that. Then I remember karma and that I can change it.

Anyway, somehow I am much calmer now. Nicole said something really relevant “What for? Doesn’t do your health any good”.

Good night!

Continue Reading

I will keep my distance.

So my sister deleted me from her twitter that day.


She just don’t understand.

Granted, some people have told me that I should talk to her, I tried asking her why, and she was like “No reason”. THEN, she went to complain to my mum that I replied her too much. Ironic much? And yet someone was talking about having dialogues in the family when she doesn’t even want to speak the truth.

She was the one who added me on Twitter first – I’d signed up twitter years ago, back in 2007 when I was in Chengdu – and I hesitated to accept the request and thought for a long while about it. But then, I decided so because she is my sister afterall. If i could let my friends see what i think about things, I should let her too, and hence I accepted.

I guess all these isn’t appreciated at all. Just because I replied to help her, encourage her, and she gives me this kind of attitude in return.

She doesn’t know how hurt I am, and how kinship is important. She could have said nicely that she doesn’t like me replying. Whatever happened to dialogue? It’s all a lie.

This just reminded me of the Social Psychology of New Media module that I took in NUS. Social media kinda ruins lives like this, but it also teaches that we should learn how to communicate without it. If people choose to behave in this sort of manner, we cannot blame the social media but about offline communication. Most people do not know that because social media is now in such a big parts of our lives, we should actually learn how to deal with it and the emotional attachments that comes together.

I talked to Audrey about it, and she was in the same situation too. She told me that she doesn’t give a shit about it anymore. Some people just don’t understand kinship and that we care.

Anyway, I can see that she’s trying to be nice to me by talking now, but I just still feel damn annoyed and angry. Maybe it will pass someday.

Continue Reading