I am misunderstood

I am misunderstood.
Everyone thinks I’m angry but no one tries to understand me.

I have pleaded for help.
So far only my family and now my bf has agreed to help.

I am misunderstood.
I am not angry but I don’t know that what came out was rude.

I mean what I say.
Unless I am joking or trying to tease a person.

I have never told lies or not meant what I said unless it was an unconscious behaviour.
And it wasn’t conscious today.

Sometimes I wonder why other people I know can say the same thing and no one thinks that they are rude. Sure words like “guai lan” or “fierce” is used to describe that person but no one says that they are rude. I don’t understand and sometimes I do think that it is not fair.

Then I think further and I guess it’s because I chant, and through this chanting I am changing and I have people reminding me.

I only seek for nicer reminders that don’t make me cry. I am already harsh with myself most of the time and it is affecting my life, confidence and esteem. Thank you for doing your best to help me.

I never said that I am perfect. I am doing my best to improve and be better.

I only ask for nicer reminders because making me upset will not make me remember – it is only temporary that I do if I am upset. Being nice to me (because everyone else treats me like shit), I can.

Thank you for helping.

I am misunderstood.
I wish I am not.

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SG Postcard Project 2015 – First Shoot

So… I got into the Singapore Postcard Project 2015! Wow! Quite happy about it though I was a little upset at first because of the way certain communications were handled. The NLB staff was nice about it after I provided some feedback..

The group was really nice. The girls were all younger than me. We had a walk at Scape yesterday and took a few pics. It’s honestly quite tough to think out of the box and compose properly since the last time I took pictures were at a show. I need more practice honestly >.< Okay will post one of my favourite picture:

Really hope to learn a lot from this! 🙂

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Let’s take a short break from talking about my aligners to let me vent a bit.

Do you know how I feel right now? Fking disappointed.

I agreed to let you go for a bit of drinks with your colleagues and you came home near drunk, reeking of hard liquor and I had to fking walk here to your place myself. At 12 midnight.

I rushed home from my jam and collecting stuff just to spend more fking time with you because you have your reservist next week. And this is what I get.

How can I not be selfish in future? This is what I get for trusting you.

And yes I will post this. Because I can and because I am not at the wrong.

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Aligners: Week 7-9

It’s the beginning of week 9 now!

Nothing much to update actually as I’d already predicted what will happen at each set of aligners (e.g. where are the rough edges to file, where to put the wax, etc) and it’s very comfortable whenever I put them on. It’s only the soreness of the teeth when it moves that makes it uncomfortable but it’s usually gone after the 3rd day and everything falls in place.

The 5th set of aligners (week 9-10) is also really comfortable except when I put on and it hits my gum at the back. But after that, it’s okay too.

I’ll be travelling next month, so I did some research on what to do and bring. Will be buying some “portable/individual” flosses and thinking of getting a small bottle of mouthwash. I’ll of course be able to brush at the apartment that we are staying at, but throughout the day I hope those will suffice.

It’s busy next few months. =/

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Aligners: Week 5-6

So! It’s the end of week 6 today, and I’ll be putting on my 4th set of aligners tonight!

But firstly, attachments!

I’ve had my attachments on for 2 weeks already, and they don’t feel very bad now. But to be honest, it felt really tight when I had them on with the new pair of aligners 2 weeks ago, and they feel ugly. They look ugly too at first, but after the first week, I realised that no one really notices them. Either that or they didn’t ask. But so far, NO ONE in office (other than those I mentioned to), has asked me about the attachments. Hahaha.

I have more than 10 attachments by the way. Seems like a lot more than what I see online =/ I think not everyone has to have them on, so no worries about it. Speak to your dentist or something!

To those curious on how the dentist put these attachments on, they have to file your teeth first. The filing part came as a surprise to me (coz I didn’t read up and know), but it wasn’t that bad, even though my dentist was scared that I would be scared or something.

The attachments were put on by another dentist, and here’s a video on how the process is like:

Teeth were really tender and sore to be honest, and it was very difficult to take your aligners off without your teeth feeling like they’re gonna fall off. I expect the next aligner to be like that, but I’m quite used to it now. Again, there’s negligible pain, and the sore went away after 2 days this time.

Aligners with attachments are not easy to clean, so do clean it thoroughly when needed.The filing of teeth also created more gaps in between my teeth and I’ll have to take note and floss carefully after meal time or food will get stuck.

How does it feel with attachments? It feels like there’s food stuck on your teeth once you take out your aligners. Not sure how to explain, but it doesn’t hurt, and you’ll just want to put your aligners back on only. Nothing too bad to handle.

Can’t wait to see my teeth move more. They have moved, but it isn’t anything too obvious – yet.

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Aligners: Week 2 – 4

Okay! It’s been bugging me that I haven’t updated in a while. Even my bf has been asking me about it and he said that maybe someone would like to find out more about the aligners so I should continue. hehe.

Anyways, after the last post, I’d more or less still lisped a bit, but got better as the end of the second week came by.

Then came the second aligners (week 3).
The initial discomfort came and went within 12 hours, and I lisped a bit again after that. This new bottom aligners has an extra one more for my wisdom tooth (on my left) which was initially a bit odd and made it shaky. However, after the second day it was pretty much comfortable.

I’m more used to the routine of brushing teeth and taking it out. I snack lesser too (but my weight hasn’t dropped much hmph) and get hungry lesser (other than meal times). The only annoying thing that I can think of (if there’s any more cons to write about), is that people always stare at me when I brush teeth or take off/put back my aligners at public washrooms. Like “what’s this girl putting on her teeth?”

I took pictures of my teeth of course, but they still don’t seem much different. My jaw shifted a little at the beginning of week 3 (now they look more proper where the lower jaw is a bit inside) but other than that I can’t really see the shift yet. I googled and people say that they don’t really see the difference till a few months into it but it also depends on how invisalign pushes your teeth.

Thursday will be the end of week 4, and I’ll be going to get my new sets of aligners. The dentist will put in attachments to my teeth as well. Just realised that I should probably get some of those sushi at my bf’s workplace there for lunch on Thursday since I had MOS burger today *random*

We’ll see how it goes.

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Hey it’s been 3 months since I started work at the new place!
I was just confirmed of my employment just a few days ago! 😀

Everything’s been awesome. I’ve been learning, doing new interesting stuff, and of course each job has it’s normal routine things to do, but it’s been my interest, so it’s great!

But you know what the best part is? Work-life balance.
It was probably something that I had neglected in the past – thinking that going home late means that I’m hardworking and that I will be successful from it.
But no, what I realized is that, sure, if you have something to work on or rush, going home late is okay. However, if there’s no peak or trough in your work, then it’s not good. Not good for health or even your mental health.

Been there, done that!

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Just a quick post here.

Met up with Tommy yesterday for dinner after he came back from US.
We talked about many things, and there was one thing that I hadn’t noticed myself subconsciously saying after her pointed it out:

“Why are you always emphasizing on free gigs?”

He went on to say that it’s a sad thing that most Singaporeans won’t want to pay to watch good music or support people doing the arts. Most of the time, our mindset is that if we don’t earn money from it, we don’t do it. Or how we are going to earn money if we’re doing music or anything related to the arts.

I guess I don’t realise it but it’s true. Most of the people I know don’t turn up for shows unless they don’t have to pay for it. Or they would rather support others than their friends. Or people would ask for free or discounted tickets. It’s quite sad isn’t it. Only a few would kindly pay however much they can to support. And I’m not just talking about one band, but in general. I’m not well experienced in the local scene, but yea, I guess our mentality should change. Heck, people don’t even support the local bands most of the time who open for others. They’ll just get boo-ed off stage or something.

No wonder people go away to do what they want. It’s not even about the non-governmental support. It’s about the people.

Treasure is chosen because it has been ringing in my head since the topic on Bruno Mars came up yesterday. lol

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Could be the changing of the seasons.

Everyone always tells you how stressful it is to join a new company or get a new job.

No one really tells you how stressful it is leaving a company.

Packing up is the hard.

Telling your clients you’re leaving is harder.
People ask “Why?”

Why did I want to leave?
Because I am tired of working here? Because I really want to see how it is like out there? Because I’ve finally had enough?

So many answers to this, that I cannot really pinpoint a reason, so I just tell them it’s because I’ve ben here for so long already and they usually just nod.

I’ve met so many different people the past almost 5 years working here. Majority of them are awesome people, but there are a few who really stood out in a bad way. Like that first client that boss ever sacked.

Then I’ve met a pretty famous singer, a sports commentator, and a Gakkai member even.

Not sure how it will be like at that new place. But for now, I’ll only ask for forgiveness if I become cranky. I’m both physically and mentally stressed right now, despite trying to not think about it.

Could be the changing of the seasons, but I hope to be back to myself soon.

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Changing of the Seasons

*There’s a part of the video where I keep hearing frequency sounds.

Sometimes I don’t really know what I am doing. Especially when editing photos.

I seriously need someone to guide me along. Zzz

Since the last post, I jammed with 2 other bands: One was almost a professional band, and another were made up of teens (they had a good bassist though).

Anyway, I did badly for the professional band due to nerves, PMS, etc so I shan’t post the songs that we did.

Set list:
1) Slither – Velvet Revolver
2) Still into You – Paramore
3) You Give Love a Bad Name – Bon Jovi
4) Animals – Neon Trees
5) Time is Running out – Muse
6) I Knew You Were Trouble – Taylor Swift

To be honest, the songs here were the stuff that I’m most comfortable playing with.
I’m someone who gets better the more I work on songs, so basically I screwed up song number 1. HAHA but afterwards was okay.

The bassist of this band was quite good. When the rest of them went for a smoking break, I tried free jamming with him. I finally understood what my bf meant about trying to push to change a style but it wasn’t easy I felt. Anyways, I think this was a band that had potential if they listened out more. They were way better than the first band that i went to try out for.

Not sure if I got in to be honest. They’re trying out another drummer this week. OH wells.

TBH I can’t wait to jam with my colleagues again.

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