I am misunderstood

I am misunderstood.
Everyone thinks I’m angry but no one tries to understand me.

I have pleaded for help.
So far only my family and now my bf has agreed to help.

I am misunderstood.
I am not angry but I don’t know that what came out was rude.

I mean what I say.
Unless I am joking or trying to tease a person.

I have never told lies or not meant what I said unless it was an unconscious behaviour.
And it wasn’t conscious today.

Sometimes I wonder why other people I know can say the same thing and no one thinks that they are rude. Sure words like “guai lan” or “fierce” is used to describe that person but no one says that they are rude. I don’t understand and sometimes I do think that it is not fair.

Then I think further and I guess it’s because I chant, and through this chanting I am changing and I have people reminding me.

I only seek for nicer reminders that don’t make me cry. I am already harsh with myself most of the time and it is affecting my life, confidence and esteem. Thank you for doing your best to help me.

I never said that I am perfect. I am doing my best to improve and be better.

I only ask for nicer reminders because making me upset will not make me remember – it is only temporary that I do if I am upset. Being nice to me (because everyone else treats me like shit), I can.

Thank you for helping.

I am misunderstood.
I wish I am not.

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