There I was again tonight.

Just had the realisation that as someone playing music, we always compare ourselves with others. In a competition, it is never how good that one band is, but it is always subjective to how the previous band was. This has been kinda instilled in me since secondary school band days.

So i just realised that being with a musician much better than me has made me want to push myself forward much more, because in comparison to Eugene, i’m one with lesser chances of making it in the non-classical/symphonic band scene. Problem is that I feel that somehow, my trying to work on things have a really lower success rate.

Finished watching Beck yesterday, and in it was a scene where the band leader was being chided by his friend for breaking the band up. And all the guy thought of was that he wanted to be successful because he promised his friend (who happens to be the lead guitarist of a famous band) so.

Can’t help but think that sometimes, we focus too much on the end result (being successful) that we end up sacrificing people along the way. Sacrificing things and time is ok. But people? Do we really want to do it this way? They may not be good enough or may be flawed now, but do we not give them a chance? Of course, if nothing improves after giving them chances it’s another story. But sometimes our impatience on being successful will throw people out of our lives and turn us into people that lose our own principles

Let’s hope i won’t be like this.

On another note, I really want to be like those second percussionists who play with a major band. Those who do all the other smaller percussion instrument and sound effects (e.g. tambourine, triangle, bongos).

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