Posted by Jasmine Chye on Jun 29, 2016 in Rants
I wanted the next article to be something else, but I’m feeling so upset and horrible right now that I really need an outlet to vent.
For people who know me, the thing I hate the most (yes hate even though it’s a strong word) is being accused of things that I did not do.
Today, 2 people that I look up to accused me.
I haven’t felt so bloody upset in a while. First I was accused of giving slip shoddy work because of lack of time – which totally wasn’t the case (it was a conclusion after a discussion and we wanted to re-use design because the design was good instead of re-doing new ones); and then I was accused of trying to dig too much into someone’s work process in a bad mood when I was just asking.
Look, do not question my work ethics. I do not do things because of lack of time. Sure, I do have ideas that save time but I did send for approval before going ahead (which was given).
Also, if you have the opinion that I will have a bad reaction to something and you project that thought at me, don’t bloody get mad.
This is pissing me off.
Posted by Jasmine Chye on Sep 6, 2015 in Interesting
Three years ago I watched Evelyn Glennie in Singapore. Back then, I’d only played with a Symphonic Band/Orchestra (just every Sunday, non-professionally).
Fast forward 3 years on, I’m taking a break from my Symphonic Band practice, and I’ve explored and played with different people and bands the past year; I’d auditioned and failed in about 3 bands, but also had the opportunity to play in different bands for their performances. Still, I lack self-confidence most of the time, and struggle regularly on whether I should continue playing or give it up, as I know that as compared to professionals, I can be nowhere as good as them.
I envy professional musicians – they get to hone their skills everyday and do what I wish I was good at. Some of my friends (both professionals and non-professionals) know that I’m going through this and they told me not to compare this way.
When Parvin told us that she was able to meet Evelyn Glennie and ask her questions if any, the first question that I had was again the above – What would she advice a non-professional percussionist who knows that she isn’t as good as a professional even though she does her best to work on her skills as best that she can?
Evelyn’s answer (as conveyed by Parvin) was this: There’s no such thing as non-professional percussionists. We are all the same and equal whether we are professionals or not. The most important thing is that we need to explore and understand people’s feelings and try to understand what life is all about. We are here to share our beautiful stories of life through our performances to the audience. Even the audience has some stories to share.
I think this was the best answer that I’d received. I was reminded previously about how we should connect with the audience through our performance but this was the best reminder. I’m really thankful for Parvin to ask my question too! 🙂
This time, I attended Evelyn’s performance with Carol and Parvin – 2 brilliant percussionists that I get to play with. It was Carol’s first time watching the SCO (my 2nd time) and just like my first time watching them previously, she was in awe. There were 2 other soloists – Yu Hong Mei who plays the Er Hu (her music accolades are really amazing), and Han Lei who plays the Guan Zi. I’m intrigued by the sound of the Guan Zi – the lower one with elements that makes it sound like the clarinet, and the higher one which sounds a little like the saxophone.
Pretty much was a good reminder to myself about music.
And we finally finally got a picture with Evelyn Glennie herself!!!
She’s really really nice 🙂
Thank you for inspiring all musicians as always!
I really really love playing music. This is why I haven’t given up yet.
Posted by Jasmine Chye on Sep 1, 2015 in Default
I’m not sure if you still visit, and I haven’t updated in ages.
I’ll just leave this open for one of us to stumble upon. Just so that you can read this. Please bear in mind that I am not trying to air our issues to the world.
Today something similar happened again, something that I thought we solved 2 months ago. I really wanted to ask why you don’t follow the agreement we had then, but I know that you probably won’t listen today. I’ll bring this up another day when we are both more awake.
We really need to solve this. And I really want to stop crying.
Love you still.
Posted by Jasmine Chye on Jun 28, 2015 in Life
I am misunderstood.
Everyone thinks I’m angry but no one tries to understand me.
I have pleaded for help.
So far only my family and now my bf has agreed to help.
I am misunderstood.
I am not angry but I don’t know that what came out was rude.
I mean what I say.
Unless I am joking or trying to tease a person.
I have never told lies or not meant what I said unless it was an unconscious behaviour.
And it wasn’t conscious today.
Sometimes I wonder why other people I know can say the same thing and no one thinks that they are rude. Sure words like “guai lan” or “fierce” is used to describe that person but no one says that they are rude. I don’t understand and sometimes I do think that it is not fair.
Then I think further and I guess it’s because I chant, and through this chanting I am changing and I have people reminding me.
I only seek for nicer reminders that don’t make me cry. I am already harsh with myself most of the time and it is affecting my life, confidence and esteem. Thank you for doing your best to help me.
I never said that I am perfect. I am doing my best to improve and be better.
I only ask for nicer reminders because making me upset will not make me remember – it is only temporary that I do if I am upset. Being nice to me (because everyone else treats me like shit), I can.
Thank you for helping.
I am misunderstood.
I wish I am not.
Posted by Jasmine Chye on Feb 1, 2015 in Interesting
So… I got into the Singapore Postcard Project 2015! Wow! Quite happy about it though I was a little upset at first because of the way certain communications were handled. The NLB staff was nice about it after I provided some feedback..
The group was really nice. The girls were all younger than me. We had a walk at Scape yesterday and took a few pics. It’s honestly quite tough to think out of the box and compose properly since the last time I took pictures were at a show. I need more practice honestly >.< Okay will post one of my favourite picture:
Really hope to learn a lot from this! 🙂
Posted by Jasmine Chye on Oct 25, 2014 in Rants
Let’s take a short break from talking about my aligners to let me vent a bit.
Do you know how I feel right now? Fking disappointed.
I agreed to let you go for a bit of drinks with your colleagues and you came home near drunk, reeking of hard liquor and I had to fking walk here to your place myself. At 12 midnight.
I rushed home from my jam and collecting stuff just to spend more fking time with you because you have your reservist next week. And this is what I get.
How can I not be selfish in future? This is what I get for trusting you.
And yes I will post this. Because I can and because I am not at the wrong.
Posted by Jasmine Chye on Oct 19, 2014 in Interesting
It’s the beginning of week 9 now!
Nothing much to update actually as I’d already predicted what will happen at each set of aligners (e.g. where are the rough edges to file, where to put the wax, etc) and it’s very comfortable whenever I put them on. It’s only the soreness of the teeth when it moves that makes it uncomfortable but it’s usually gone after the 3rd day and everything falls in place.
The 5th set of aligners (week 9-10) is also really comfortable except when I put on and it hits my gum at the back. But after that, it’s okay too.
I’ll be travelling next month, so I did some research on what to do and bring. Will be buying some “portable/individual” flosses and thinking of getting a small bottle of mouthwash. I’ll of course be able to brush at the apartment that we are staying at, but throughout the day I hope those will suffice.
It’s busy next few months. =/
Posted by Jasmine Chye on Oct 2, 2014 in Thoughts
So! It’s the end of week 6 today, and I’ll be putting on my 4th set of aligners tonight!
But firstly, attachments!
I’ve had my attachments on for 2 weeks already, and they don’t feel very bad now. But to be honest, it felt really tight when I had them on with the new pair of aligners 2 weeks ago, and they feel ugly. They look ugly too at first, but after the first week, I realised that no one really notices them. Either that or they didn’t ask. But so far, NO ONE in office (other than those I mentioned to), has asked me about the attachments. Hahaha.
I have more than 10 attachments by the way. Seems like a lot more than what I see online =/ I think not everyone has to have them on, so no worries about it. Speak to your dentist or something!
To those curious on how the dentist put these attachments on, they have to file your teeth first. The filing part came as a surprise to me (coz I didn’t read up and know), but it wasn’t that bad, even though my dentist was scared that I would be scared or something.
The attachments were put on by another dentist, and here’s a video on how the process is like:
Teeth were really tender and sore to be honest, and it was very difficult to take your aligners off without your teeth feeling like they’re gonna fall off. I expect the next aligner to be like that, but I’m quite used to it now. Again, there’s negligible pain, and the sore went away after 2 days this time.
Aligners with attachments are not easy to clean, so do clean it thoroughly when needed.The filing of teeth also created more gaps in between my teeth and I’ll have to take note and floss carefully after meal time or food will get stuck.
How does it feel with attachments? It feels like there’s food stuck on your teeth once you take out your aligners. Not sure how to explain, but it doesn’t hurt, and you’ll just want to put your aligners back on only. Nothing too bad to handle.
Can’t wait to see my teeth move more. They have moved, but it isn’t anything too obvious – yet.
Posted by Jasmine Chye on Sep 17, 2014 in Teeth
Okay! It’s been bugging me that I haven’t updated in a while. Even my bf has been asking me about it and he said that maybe someone would like to find out more about the aligners so I should continue. hehe.
Anyways, after the last post, I’d more or less still lisped a bit, but got better as the end of the second week came by.
Then came the second aligners (week 3).
The initial discomfort came and went within 12 hours, and I lisped a bit again after that. This new bottom aligners has an extra one more for my wisdom tooth (on my left) which was initially a bit odd and made it shaky. However, after the second day it was pretty much comfortable.
I’m more used to the routine of brushing teeth and taking it out. I snack lesser too (but my weight hasn’t dropped much hmph) and get hungry lesser (other than meal times). The only annoying thing that I can think of (if there’s any more cons to write about), is that people always stare at me when I brush teeth or take off/put back my aligners at public washrooms. Like “what’s this girl putting on her teeth?”
I took pictures of my teeth of course, but they still don’t seem much different. My jaw shifted a little at the beginning of week 3 (now they look more proper where the lower jaw is a bit inside) but other than that I can’t really see the shift yet. I googled and people say that they don’t really see the difference till a few months into it but it also depends on how invisalign pushes your teeth.
Thursday will be the end of week 4, and I’ll be going to get my new sets of aligners. The dentist will put in attachments to my teeth as well. Just realised that I should probably get some of those sushi at my bf’s workplace there for lunch on Thursday since I had MOS burger today *random*
We’ll see how it goes.
Posted by Jasmine Chye on Aug 25, 2014 in Teeth
So.. After years of talking about it, I finally got started on invisalign.
I decided to write more frequently about this process to assist others if needed, and also to keep a record of my journey.
Anyways, prior to starting invisalign, my orthodontist went through the whole process of explaining about what is was, and answered questions that I had. To be honest, my main worry was only about the cost, so I didn’t really ask about other stuff (and a lot can be found online actually). So after saving up for it (for a few years too mind you), I just went straight into it.
The first session before it they took X-Rays of my jaw, a few photos (side view, smile, relaxed, etc) and also some putty stuff to get a mould of your jaw. Next session saw them explaining about what to correct, and also the cost.
Third session was after you confirm that you would like to do it, and they did another mould, this time using another mixture. This was the more tedious and unpleasant visit so far, and my teeth was pretty messy so they took about 3 times to get the bottom teeth. 5 mins each where you can’t really breathe with the putty stuck to your teeth :X
My orthodontist is pretty popular, and each session was almost 1 month in between *faints*
So anyways, I FINALLY GOT MY ALIGNERS last THursday.
Basically, they give you a kit for you to keep your aligners, and you change it after 2 weeks.
Here’s basically what happened (to me at least – everyone’s body will react differently to change and have different tolerance levels):
Day 1: After soaking the aligners as instructed (in water only), I put it on. It felt very tight and uncomfortable but the pain level was low. Pain level: 2. I talk with a lisp 🙁
Day 2: Still talk with a lisp. Went to work and I felt like my head was very stress and painful. Head. Because all bones are connected? Pain level: 4. Teeth felt shaky and didn’t want to eat at all. But the good thing is that I can take it out. I let my teeth rest a bit after my food, and then put it back.
Day 3: Pain level: 2. Still talk with a lisp. I figured out the more I talk the lesser I lisp. LOL. And also the more I put it on, it gets comfortable.
Day 4: Pain level: 0? I decided that some parts of the aligners were a bit uncomfortable to my mouth, which may be why I lisp, so I went to observe how my tongue was avoiding some areas while talking with the aligners. I don’t have a nail file to file it, so I used the wax given. Seems to be much better.
It’s day 5 today. My colleague said that I talk okay, and I can’t pronounce properly for “s” or “x” words, but otherwise it doesn’t hurt anymore. Teeth don’t feel shaky.
Will keep updating here as much as possible. Not sure if anyone’s reading but if you are, feel free to ask questions if any.